Post by Danielle on Oct 8, 2015 16:02:28 GMT
Dear readers:
I have recently read excerpts of new study out of the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands that I would like to share with you because I believe that it is a timely and important concern.
The study evaluated the parental “overvaluing” of over 500 children between 7 and 11 years of age over a two-year period. Overvaluing is when parents tell their children that they are “more special “than other children in an attempt to boost their self-esteem. Research shows that this practice has an adverse effect in that it actually raises levels of narcissism instead. Narcissists think they are better than others, but in fact, have lower levels of self-confidence, confirm the researchers.
There is a growing body of research in the past few years on the increasing levels of narcissism in our society and the problems it is causing. This evidence then leads one to wonder if narcissistic parents are creating narcissistic children? If so, the problem is being perpetuated generation after generation.
The question is then, how do you raise healthy, self-confident kids? The key is “parental warmth”. The researchers distinguished between parental overvaluing and parental warmth, where the overvaluing parents told their kids they were better than others, and the parents who showed warmth told their kids they loved them. Kids need to know they are loved and valued. That will be the key to their development of self-esteem and self-confidence.
Another recent study from the University of Missouri also related parental warmth to the healthy emotional and social development of children. In this study, the effects of “material parenting” were examined, whereby parents use material goods to express their love or to shape behaviour. These children learn to “judge themselves and others based on their possessions”, are more likely to “blow traumatic events out of proportion, and to experience depression, loneliness, and relationship troubles”. The researchers concluded that the best way to ensure healthy development of your kids is to “spend time” with them, and “teach them gratitude for all the things they do get”.
The best thing you can do for your children is to spend time with them and to model the kind of behaviour you want to see from them.
So, what are you teaching your kids?
I have recently read excerpts of new study out of the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands that I would like to share with you because I believe that it is a timely and important concern.
The study evaluated the parental “overvaluing” of over 500 children between 7 and 11 years of age over a two-year period. Overvaluing is when parents tell their children that they are “more special “than other children in an attempt to boost their self-esteem. Research shows that this practice has an adverse effect in that it actually raises levels of narcissism instead. Narcissists think they are better than others, but in fact, have lower levels of self-confidence, confirm the researchers.
There is a growing body of research in the past few years on the increasing levels of narcissism in our society and the problems it is causing. This evidence then leads one to wonder if narcissistic parents are creating narcissistic children? If so, the problem is being perpetuated generation after generation.
The question is then, how do you raise healthy, self-confident kids? The key is “parental warmth”. The researchers distinguished between parental overvaluing and parental warmth, where the overvaluing parents told their kids they were better than others, and the parents who showed warmth told their kids they loved them. Kids need to know they are loved and valued. That will be the key to their development of self-esteem and self-confidence.
Another recent study from the University of Missouri also related parental warmth to the healthy emotional and social development of children. In this study, the effects of “material parenting” were examined, whereby parents use material goods to express their love or to shape behaviour. These children learn to “judge themselves and others based on their possessions”, are more likely to “blow traumatic events out of proportion, and to experience depression, loneliness, and relationship troubles”. The researchers concluded that the best way to ensure healthy development of your kids is to “spend time” with them, and “teach them gratitude for all the things they do get”.
The best thing you can do for your children is to spend time with them and to model the kind of behaviour you want to see from them.
So, what are you teaching your kids?